Toxic Positivity

TOXIC POSITIVITY VS VICTORY EXPERIENCES 

This was one of the more popular Instagram posts I put out in the last month, so I though I would expand a bit on it. One of the several reasons why, in large, the "fitness" industry is cancer. Let's pretend I don't know you. And although I don't know you, or anything about you, or your goals, I want you to believe in yourself and be confident. This type of false cheerleading is one of the reasons people DON'T believe in themselves. If I simply tell you to be confident, with no actions or reasoning, of course, you won't be. You have no reason to be. Then maybe you'll wonder, "what's wrong with me?" Nothing is wrong with you; you're just not an idiot because you do not believe in something you have been given ZERO reason to. 

Before I delve more into why I despise the talking heads of the fitness industry, I feel the need to clear something up. I do not believe in negative reinforcement. I will never tell anyone they're not good enough or that your goals aren't necessary. I don't think that type of coaching is productive. It can be productive in specific environments, but it doesn't last, it is like setting the living room furniture on fire to stay warm. Sure, you achieve your goal but at the cost of eventually burning the whole house down. 

So why are the yoga pant clad ladies and fake smile gents of the fitness industry so nauseating? Because they tell you to believe in yourself but give you no justification. You're not stupid, you know this, people fail at things all the time. You're smart enough to know that you might be one of these people who does. But hey, "believe in yourself."

What is a possible answer? I think it is in a coach who facilitates VICTORY EXPERIENCES. An alternative to Jillian Michaels talking head or even worse Tracy Anderson (she is to fitness what ISIS is to humanity) "believe in yourself" schtick is to begin to create victory experiences. These need to be large enough to mean something but achievable enough to where it's not easy to find an excuse not to back out. 

I suggest you, or you and your coach, start wit action goals. Outcome goals can be tricky. To say I will squat 400lbs and I will lose 10lbs this month are goals that have numerous factors that are out of your control. If you are starting and need to build confidence, begin with a goal like, "I will walk into the gym." Just do that. If you're having a hard time starting, just walk inside, then you can go home. YOU DID IT! Then a day later, walk inside and do 10 min on a piece of equipment, it might not seem like much. However, you are doing what you said you would and building these victory experiences. Also, you are enforcing the habit of following through with assigned tasks.

For a nutrition client, I might start them out with "you need to write down everything you eat today." The trainee does not even have to show me, they can throw the piece of paper away tomorrow, but they need to be 100% honest with themselves and write everything down. Just that action of being honest with yourself, consciously knowing what they are eating in a day, and being accountable is a huge step. Boom! "You did it," that's a victory experience, "now you're on your way." 

If you need help to determine a course of action, and how to best build these victory experiences, message me so we can discuss the benefits of Interactive Coaching or to set up a consult. START TRAINING TODAY! 

6 Week Cut Progress

NOTE: Below, is re-blogged from my newsletter 1st Feb 2019.

I’m currently in the middle point of a diet for aesthetics. I’ve cut weight for fighting numerous times, but I’ve never followed a program specifically for aesthetics before. I have several  reasons for doing this.

 I feel that as a fitness professional there is a huge difference between being in the game 10 years growing constantly, and doing the same year over ten times. If you don’t try running the programs yourself how can you confidently implement them?

Maybe most importantly, the idea of being restricted in food (for comfort or socialization) and alcohol made me a little scared, to be honest. The idea of working a thirteen-hour day and then coming home and not being able to have something delicious made me uncomfortable. So, I felt this was something I had to do, we all know growth happens outside the comfort zone. Lastly, I need six pack abs if I’m ever going to destroy my enemies in the fitness world (not hyperbole).

I posted this photo recently on Instagram and I received a lot of positive feedback, for which I am very grateful. Also, all this encouragement I see as another layer of accountability, but even so, I felt the immediate urge to qualify it posting thIs comparison photo.

Posting this comparison photo I felt the immediate urge to qualify it. I wanted to say “hey you can still sort of kinda see the top two abs, or mention my recent squat/deadlift PR.” I felt the need to qualify looking puffy. I don’t really like the photo. Don’t like how I look, bad lighting (#fitspo is 85% lighting) but I think it’s important to share how much change can happen in 5 weeks. Also, I think it’s important if I’m going to LEAD you in your journey you understand I’m not a robot. I feel vulnerable, weak, and unsatisfied at times also. If I didn’t I wouldn’t be able to help you.
 

I wanted to say “Hey, you can still sort-of kinda see the top two abs,” or mention my recent squat/deadlift PR.  I felt the need to looking looking what I saw as puffy. I don’t really like the photo. I don’t like how I look, there’s bad lighting (#fitspo is 85% lighting), but I think it’s important to share how much change can happen in 5 weeks. That was a photo after completing week one of my diet and program. Also, I think it’s important if I’m going to LEAD you in your journey you understand that I’m not a robot. I feel vulnerable, weak, and unsatisfied at times. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be able to help you.

 THE DIET

I received several inquires to what the diet I’m doing includes. My knee jerk reaction was to explain it’s complexity with: “well you train like a Viking and don’t eat like an asshole, repeat to desired effect.” In all seriousness, well actually in all seriousness, DO THAT! But, to be more specific I simply tracked all my food, kept protein consistent, and slowly dialed down the calories for the energy macronutrients (fat & carbs). To get slightly more detailed I try to time carbs around my workouts. No foods are off limits except alcohol (the 5th food group).

For the most part everyone already knows how to get leaner. If I showed you grilled chicken and broccoli and then a plate of pasta, you know which is better for weight loss! Eighty percent of results from a weight loss plan is hitting the appropriate number of macro nutrients and total calories. A widely excepted rule of thumb that predates the world wide web, blogger “experts,” and skinny jeans is that you should have roughly one gram per pound of bodyweight. I don’t want this to turn into a discussion of protein, if you want to delve deeper look into the material published by Renaissance Periodization.

Also, I’m not drinking. This goes back to my main point that unless you want to get bodybuilding competition shredded, you already know how to lose weight. I especially already know! So, why am I successful (at the moment)? I have layers of accountability, I know why I’m doing this, and I have confidence in the program.

THE GIGGLE TEST

 Does your diet pass the giggle test? What do I mean by that? Well, if you tell someone your new cockamamie diet plan and their first reaction is a giggle it’s probably not the best idea. “Jill I’m only eating foods in blue packaging on even numbers of the the clock.” That being said, this diet will work at least at first. Because any diet that reduces the number of calories in versus out will work (for a time). Keto, let’s just cut the shit please. You don’t actually believe it’s a good idea you just want to be able to eat bacon wrapped avocados all the time.

LAYERS OF ACCOUNTABILITY

I have a coach. Yes, coaches need coaches, especially good ones! I have a very supportive girlfriend Cara (@captainstarbuck). As far as not drinking I told my girlfriend I was going to cut out alcohol on our anniversary until the project is done. Then on Christmas numerous people gave me bottles of whiskey. Which I asked Cara what that means people think? To which she replied: “well it’s because you’re like a man’s man, or they think you’re a functioning alcoholic, or a little of both.” Also, I now have this post on IG now I’m for my half-way mark, so I need to show change once I’m at 12 weeks. Next and maybe most important I paid money for this diet, I suggest you do too. This is isn’t even a sales pitch because I can’t legally tell you specific guidelines but I’m going to let you in on a secret I learned the hard way: people don’t respect things that are unconditionally free! So, throw down some cash. Even better keep a tally of all the money you’re saving by making your own meals and not drinking. Especially if you live in New York you’ll see this add up. Then get yourself something nice.

Also, postscript for next December my brand is Talisker.