Toxic Positivity

TOXIC POSITIVITY VS VICTORY EXPERIENCES 

This was one of the more popular Instagram posts I put out in the last month, so I though I would expand a bit on it. One of the several reasons why, in large, the "fitness" industry is cancer. Let's pretend I don't know you. And although I don't know you, or anything about you, or your goals, I want you to believe in yourself and be confident. This type of false cheerleading is one of the reasons people DON'T believe in themselves. If I simply tell you to be confident, with no actions or reasoning, of course, you won't be. You have no reason to be. Then maybe you'll wonder, "what's wrong with me?" Nothing is wrong with you; you're just not an idiot because you do not believe in something you have been given ZERO reason to. 

Before I delve more into why I despise the talking heads of the fitness industry, I feel the need to clear something up. I do not believe in negative reinforcement. I will never tell anyone they're not good enough or that your goals aren't necessary. I don't think that type of coaching is productive. It can be productive in specific environments, but it doesn't last, it is like setting the living room furniture on fire to stay warm. Sure, you achieve your goal but at the cost of eventually burning the whole house down. 

So why are the yoga pant clad ladies and fake smile gents of the fitness industry so nauseating? Because they tell you to believe in yourself but give you no justification. You're not stupid, you know this, people fail at things all the time. You're smart enough to know that you might be one of these people who does. But hey, "believe in yourself."

What is a possible answer? I think it is in a coach who facilitates VICTORY EXPERIENCES. An alternative to Jillian Michaels talking head or even worse Tracy Anderson (she is to fitness what ISIS is to humanity) "believe in yourself" schtick is to begin to create victory experiences. These need to be large enough to mean something but achievable enough to where it's not easy to find an excuse not to back out. 

I suggest you, or you and your coach, start wit action goals. Outcome goals can be tricky. To say I will squat 400lbs and I will lose 10lbs this month are goals that have numerous factors that are out of your control. If you are starting and need to build confidence, begin with a goal like, "I will walk into the gym." Just do that. If you're having a hard time starting, just walk inside, then you can go home. YOU DID IT! Then a day later, walk inside and do 10 min on a piece of equipment, it might not seem like much. However, you are doing what you said you would and building these victory experiences. Also, you are enforcing the habit of following through with assigned tasks.

For a nutrition client, I might start them out with "you need to write down everything you eat today." The trainee does not even have to show me, they can throw the piece of paper away tomorrow, but they need to be 100% honest with themselves and write everything down. Just that action of being honest with yourself, consciously knowing what they are eating in a day, and being accountable is a huge step. Boom! "You did it," that's a victory experience, "now you're on your way." 

If you need help to determine a course of action, and how to best build these victory experiences, message me so we can discuss the benefits of Interactive Coaching or to set up a consult. START TRAINING TODAY!